John Gottman, who could predict if a couple will stay together or divorce with an eerie accuracy says “The secret to love is just kindness.”
Below are six questions to ask your partner.
Ask the question, then listen. Then switch.
Remember, be generous and kind. It may feel a little formulaic, but this isn’t the time to actually respond, just take in the information and thank them then switch.
1. Is there anything that I have said or done this week that has created trust between us?
Then listen…
after your partner shares what they have to say, thank them and switch.
2. Is there anything that I have said or done this week, that has created distrust or distance between us?
3. Give appreciations, where we declare appreciations for the other.
“I appreciate you for_______”
4. I’d like to be appreciated for_____
5. Is there something that you would like more of from me?
6. Is there something that you would like less of from me?
When you are finished, thank each other.
Let me know how the ritual was for you and your partner.
